16 on the 16th Series: August

Aug 16

Here are some thoughts during Mercury retrograde. The shadow period began July 16th and I could tell with my computer deleting half my blog with no rhyme or reason last month, and onyl just now did I realize I spelled July “Jly”. Mercury retrogrades August 5th-28th and finally leaves its shadow September 11th.

It’s a doozy, and with Mercury traveling between Leo, to Virgo, then BACK to Leo and then forward onto Virgo… there are a lot of things we will need to do multiple times to get right. So save yourself a headache and do less, and double and triple check the things you do have to do.

“Do less” is hilarious advice for me to give though because of course this is the month I decided to bring a new dimension to my 16 thoughts and read them out loud, live to an audience.

How bad can it be? They’re just thoughts.

I always wanted to be a mail carrier when I was little. I thought it looked like a cool job and my mail carrier was really nice and always humming and smiling. I wanted to be a mail carrier by day and the voice of the little mermaid by night. I thought that every time I watched the movie someone was singing it to me. So I wanted to be the one to sing it. Anyway- I like mail carriers. I still think it’s a really cool job, and anyone that passes information is a hero. Isn’t that what Hermes/ Mercury did? Run around and gossip?
Mercury Retrograde hit the G train. She shut down in July and a small portion opened up this week but most of it is still down. I have no clue what renovations they did though because honestly it just feels like the train just got louder. It’s deafening. Anyway - this has really affected my writing because I have grown accustomed to writing my thoughts on the train, and the last two months have made that difficult. I’m adapting- but a thing like removing my main train has a big effect on the patterns I have. Summer patterns maybe are always chaotic.
One day, I was talking to myself in the mirror as I was getting ready, and I was having so much fun playing with my mirror self and then I said, “I’m so glad you’re fun because I have to be you” and then I got embarrassed. You know when you’re so goofy you embarrass yourself when you’re alone. It was all weird to say that to myself because who else would I be? And then I recovered a lost memory of when I was little and I used to play with Erin in the mirror. And I liked to pretend to be a twin in the mirror. Pretending to be a reflection of myself. Is that what twins are? Is that what all of us are to each other? We’re all the same just different and it gets confusing on who is who when the light bends just right. (Note: I just heard of the book Doppelganger: A Trip into the Mirror World that now I need to read)
Bossy is in the tone, not the task. This thought comes from my dear coworker Lily. As I mentioned last month, I have taken on a new role at work as HBIC and on this particular day I was asking Lily to do something and then apologized for being bossy, which tbh is silly because I’m literally the boss, but anyway. Lily said “bossy is in the tone, not the task” and I am going to remember that for a long time.
Kamala Harris is a Gemini rising and I couldn’t be more thrilled about that. I am a Gemini rising, my best friend Christopher is a Gemini rising, and my girlfriend Deb is a Gemini rising. Rising signs are the key to understanding the houses of astrology, which IMO takes the zodiac from being a one dimensional exercise of a list of planets in zodiac signs to a huge new scope of interplay between real life and planetary transits. So for instance, because Kamala and I have the same rising sign I know that Mercury is traveling through her 4th and 3rd house too. Let me know if you want more explanation about the houses because it’s super cool, I’d be happy to deep dive.
As I said Mercury is retrograding through my 4th house (of parents, caregivers, homes) and 3rd house (daily rituals, communications, extended family) and I went on vacation to Greece. Deb was worried that traveling during Mercury Retrograde would be this disastrous thing, but I felt great because we already were leaning into the places that Mercury was disrupting. To be on vacation is to give up your home, your daily rituals and communications in a positive way so I felt really in the flow with Mercury. Especially, going to Greece and spending my days thinking about ancient civilizations and how maybe we’re not so different from them now. We were walking along the base of the acropolis in Athens and I could picture the market below as it was thousands of years ago, probably not so dissimilar from the market there now. Bustling with people, animals and musicians entertaining on the street. I walked past someone playing an off key version of wonderwall sung through a greek accent and I thought.. Yes, a timeless scene.
Before I left for Greece I finished this fantastic novel called The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfield. It’s about a person who gets introduced to a manuscript that says nothing in life is a coincidence, and anything that feels like it is is actually a sign to follow.
There is a woman on the block of BAH that screams. She walks down the street screaming and I have grown used to it. So much so that when she was screaming at the top of her lungs, “Someone help! Someone help!” I averted my eyes and walked around, along with everyone else on the block. What must it feel like to be s actively ignored? I saw her, I felt her, and she was screaming for help… and we all kept walking.
Twins are fucking everywhere. Take a look around and you’ll find them, and as soon as you do there is quite literally another one. In most cases. I think that’s why Celestine Prophecy made so much sense to me. If nothing is a coincidence and it all mattered, then I am definitely meant to be alive. If that’s not true, I think the sorrow of being a twinless twin would be too heavy for me to hold.
John Prine has been close by lately. My mom said she doesn’t have many regrets in life but one is not seeing John Prine perform live, that same afternoon I walked by someone with a bag that said “John Prine was right.” His lyrics mean more to me with every listen and that has become how I guage a good song. This moments lyrics I want to share is from Hello in There: “You know old trees just grow stronger, and old rivers grow wilder everyday. Old people just grow lonesome, waiting for someone to say ‘Hello in there, Hello’”
Why did I wait until fucking Mercury retrograde to update my health insurance? I am trying to change it to reflect my new job and I was on hold and with this woman, who was by far the most helpful person I’ve ever talked to from NY State of Health. And she kept saying, “please expect long moments of silence while I look for your account/look this up/etc.” So, I was on hold and back and forth with her for over an hour. My Tarot cards were sittin right there so I shuffled them up. These cheeky ass cards show me the 7 of pentacles. Waiting, waiting, waiting.
I have this crazy feeling that everything will be okay which honestly makes me a little anxious. And I mean okay, not good not bad but peacefully fine. But wtf makes me think that? This is a v scary world and I some where still feel protected? By what? Maybe it’s morbid but I think it’s the comfort in knowing I’ll just die and it’ll be okay? Cuz at least I’ll play with Erin in the mirror.
In Greece I had a really cool experience with this holistic healer named Ana. She teaches yoga and dance and she does this type of massage that is very intuitive and unique, I’ve never had anything quite like it. I told her I had some hip injuries over the last year and I’d been working through it so she was slightly prepared. She began working on me and as she was releasing the points in my low back and hips I began to cry. Not the most unusual thing for me, but it was the perfect release that I needed. After I’d regained control of my breathing she asked how my relationship with my father was. I told her we are really similar but not as open with each other and I’d like and she said that was what she was feeling in my hips. Isn’t that amazing? And exactly a year ago is when I first hurt my hip, and at the same time my dad had a bike accident that caused him a hip injury. Hips and dads! Who knew.
I ate something that really made me bloat one day when I was in Greece so Ana also massaged my inner organs and I tell ya, that is intimacy. She grabbed my belly and shook it. I’ve never had that done, and I’ve been doing it almost daily since, It’s a wild feeling. She grabbed on the left side and held for a long time and when I asked what she was grabbing she said, “Your colon.” She told me your colon being inflamed is connected to your ideas about death. I defiitely connect Erin to my large intestines, because she was missing some of hers. I am going to have to do more research about my natal South Node to connect that to astrology. Mine is in Virgo where Mercury is retrograding so surprise surprise, nothing is a coincidence.
A few tarot cards stood out during my trip to Greece. For me, I kept pulling the 10 of wands. Carrying a lot, efficiently sure, but hard work nonetheless. The tower came up for someone who really needed to hear it. This person also got the death card which kind of made me laugh because it’s always the one person in the crowd who is a little bit terrified of tarot that gets the two scariest looking cards. Anyway, they’ll be fine. Also, my cards like to show off (like mother like daughter).
Eight months of recording my thoughts has brought me so much closer to other people, in a weird way. People will tell me their thoughts more openly, and I like to sit with mine in a clearer way. When I started doing this series it really was a way for me to be more disciplined on my blog and post more frequently. But it has grown into this beautiful practice of listening to my mine in a non judgemental way. Being curious and open about my thoughts, and not minding if they don’t make much sense, or if they’re really only entertaining to me. Afterall… they’re just thoughts.