16 on the 16th Series: February

Feb 16

Welcome back!

Firstly, thank you to the many people who reached out to me after last months 16 thoughts! It is so kind to hear from you and it made me very excited to do this month knowing that I’m not just throwing these thoughts out to the wind. Pluto is in Aquarius for another little preview of the next generation and I am having a lot of deep thoughts about the systems that we all abide by as well as death and rebirth. It’s been a REALLY busy week for me, but tomorrow is a blessed day off and if you need me I will be under 3-5 blankets watching Stardust, most likely.

Anywho… here are my 16 thoughts for you on February 16th.

You can’t make something better that doesn’t exist. Stop editing while you’re creating and just get your idea down.
I will always be at risk of forgetting the words when I’m singing. It happens and that’s okay because number one, a lot of people don’t notice and it doesn’t matter, just keep going. Here’s a clip of me getting the words right a few pages after I made something up.

At Opera America in the VAM 2024 Showcase 2/1/24

3. If you’re feeling lucky, trust it. Don’t test it.

4. We are made of water and we slowly dry out over time. Moisturize your body a lot this winter cuz it’s super dry, right? Like more than usual.

5. Speaking of water… Do you know where your drinking water comes from? I just found out mine is in the Catskills and that feels really far away if I needed it.

6. I learned earlier this month that Deb had never seen Star Wars. So, we decided to have a week where we watched one (or two or three) a day. And like any epic story I’ve seen a million times, I hear it differently each time. What stuck out most to me this time was Darth Vader’s fear of death. And it reminded me of Voldemort, and how many other villains that have that same characteristic. It feels pretty common, no? They are afraid of physical pain and death and seek immortality. But if you’re so focused on NOT dying that isn’t the same as living, is it? I think it might be better to say, “okay, for SURE I know I’ll die so I don’t need to worry about that, now I can go ahead and just live.”

7. I’ve had a few people tell me I seem confident and sure of myself and I have a hard time hearing that. Because instead of hearing it as a compliment or simply truth, it sometimes makes me feel like if I’m not confident (which I’m not all the time, dear lord) then I’m worthless. And, that’s not true at all! I get that logically, but sometimes that’s my first reaction.
I had this thought as I was waiting for the train and then this happened: I was on the platform when a train started to pull up and over the loud speakers I heard “THIS TRAIN IS NOT IN SERVICE!” My first thought, “ugh piece of shit train what good are you if you can’t do what you’re made to do. You’re a train, so fucking train will ya! I’m gonna be late!” So here comes the train comes rolling in and the announcer, who had the smoothest speaking voice. And y’all know me, I love voices. This man’s voice was so smooth that writing the word smooth right now, I forgot how to spell it. I was sure there had to be an L in it. His voice wasnt smooth; it was smoolth.

He says it again “THIS TRAIN IS NOT IN SERVICE” and a guy on the platform goes, “Hey how’s your day going?” And the train man said, “What?” Not because he was mad but because he just didn’t hear him. And the platform guy asked again, “How’s your day going?” And the train man said, in his kind smoolth voice, “It’s going alright, I just wanna warn the people not to come too close to the train ya know?” And I’m not sure but it feels like an analogy for the feeling I was having right before. Just cuz the train isn’t training how I wanted it to train doesn’t mean it’s not a train. And same with me, I’m not confident every moment but that doesn’t mean someone can’t see me as confident.

8. This dime fell so perfectly on Waxing Gibbous it makes me think that maybe Capitalism is moving into a new phase. Can we live without it somehow?

My nephew gave me this awesome Moon phase clock and I haven’t hung it yet. Change is attracted to it. It’s funny that we call coins change.

9. I need a new toothbrush and every single one I’ve ever owned in my entire life has been plastic. Meaning they all still exist somewhere in a landfill, along with most other things I’ve owned. Sometimes when I want to buy something I think of it as just future garbage and it makes me think twice about buying it. They should really ban plastic. (I did get a wooden toothbrush with biodegradable bristles. I will report back, but so far so good)

10. The Greek God Hermes, who correlates to Mercury in the Roman Gods, and Loge in the Norse Gods is very active, because that’s his job as the messenger and trickster of the Gods. It’s so interesting that many cultures have this character in their traditions and seeing their similarities reminds me that our cultures aren’t all that different. I want to learn more about different religions.

11. We need to recognize each other as people who are no more special than ourselves. In New York, I am around strangers a lot and I have to remember that every single one of them is just as important as the next person, and we’re all just trying to stumble through this life together. So, why don’t we just try to have an okay time?

12. That being said, I had a big thought about death. And a train whistle went off just as I started writing it down. That happens a lot when I’m trying to jot these thoughts down. You wouldn’t believe how many *ding*ding*ding*’s the universe sends me. Here it is: To be afraid of death and mortality is (train whistle going off) to be afraid of being human. You are human. And you will die. This is what you’re sent here to do. To live, and to die. That same combination is the swirl that spirals your DNA and the Milky Way. It’s a sinkhole that is inevitably coming. That is your designed way out. Just as your designed way in was through the womb. You were supposed to be born and you’re supposed to die. Even if it feels like being ripped away from your comfort, your community, and everything you’ve ever known- no matter how sick it is, you were ripped from it. To be born is to be singular and unique. Before and after you are much more combined.

13. I saw Gutenberg on Broadway, the Josh Gad and Andrew Rannells musical, and it was spectacular. I felt so inspired and so close to literal brilliance. There is space for all the goofy art in the world. Do not forget that. And it takes time and work for things to get to that level of spectacle.

Deb’s friends know Josh Gad so now I’m basically the special guest producer for Gutenberg.

14. Mimes are cool as heck. More people should know about mimes.

15. I read a book called Circe by Madeline Miller and I’ve been so into the Greek Gods’ stories since… maybe you can tell from thought #10. But I just have to say Prometheus and Satan really got a bad rap from the Gods. Prometheus showed the mortal humans how to use fire which angered the Gods because then humans were able to build technology and become civilized. Satan allowed humans to choose to disobey, giving them free will over God. Both were punished for their crimes and are destined to burn forever. But is that all so bad? To be able to think for yourself and not just blindly follow some authority figure? It’s all very Pluto in Aquarius.

16. I did a new New Years Tarot Spread this year for myself and my clients and it felt really potent. Instead of doing more vague categories of career, heart, travel etc., I went for a more structured approach. I did a card for each quarter and then a card for each month. I’m really curious to see what happens over the course of the year.