Job Well Done

Mar 2

Hello again!

The last few months I have been sending out materials to theaters, auditioning for opera companies and really finding myself in the flow of being a professional artist. And tomorrow, I’m starting rehearsals for another show. I am, for the most part, very happy about where I am professionally at this moment. The auditions have been going really well and I feel like I’m conveying, and expressing, and showing myself well in performance. Not to mention, just feeling grateful and having a fun time.

And then today my patience ran a little thin…

I didn’t get a job I thought I had a good chance for thus feeling all the feelings that go along with that scenario. I spent most of the morning in a fog of rejection. Feeling out of sorts with my purpose and bogged down by the industry. I had fortunately built an easy day into my schedule today so I decided to really sink into the rejected feeling. As I laid in bed, rereading the PFOs (common opera lingo for rejection letters) I began scrolling through instagram and some algorithmic god looked down on me and passed along a video of Tom Hanks talking about perseverance through times of adversity. Followed by Viola Davis’s advice and then Michael Caine. In the interview, Michael Caine explains his philosophy to “use the difficulty.” Use whatever obstacle has been put in front of you instead of fighting against it. “If you can use it a quarter of 1% to your advantage you’re ahead,” he says, “You didn’t let it get you down.”

So, I thought to myself - How can I use this? How can I take this feeling of rejection and allow it to motivate me? I checked into myself and came back to my mother’s golden rule of advice - widen your circle of friends. Well, I’ve been meaning to send out emails to colleagues, managers, and acquaintances about my upcoming performances, and no time like the present! I might as well do it while I’ve got a fire under my ass fueled by frustration.

Fast forward to me falling down a rabbit hole on multiple of my colleagues’ websites and listening to videos of their performances and finally capping my day with a live stream of my dear friend Jessica Harika’s Doctoral recital. Let me tell you, there are so many amazing artists out there. There are generous, compelling, and caring singers that I know and have had the privilege to work with and see perform firsthand. I kid you not, when I see the hard work, dedication, and raw TALENT of my peers I am so absolutely sure that classical voice as an art form will be FINE for any foreseeable future. Opera is far from dead and vocal expression at this level is absolutely electrifying. This hyped feeling encouraged me to reach out to many people today and send them praises. As I was doing so, I felt really connected to them through this art form, some of whom I haven’t seen in person in years.

What does it mean to be in the flow of being a professional artist? It means still feeling happy about a good audition that didn’t lead to a show. I express and create in order to connect with people and that is a big part of why I love to sing. I know I have been connecting with the panel in my auditions. I can feel it, whether or not I always get called back.

I didn’t get a contract from this audition and that sucks. In years past that easily could have led me to a meltdown of catastrophizing and judging everything I’ve done up to now. But, today it led me to a day filled with connection and feelings of purpose that renewed my faith in my art.

And that to me, feels like a job well done.

<3 Reb