Die Heimat

Sep 9

German word of the day: Die Heimat (fem. noun)

There is no equivalent in English. Die Heimat is the feeling of home beyond spatial definition. The feeling of safety and tradition that can be trusted over time. This word has been abused by nationalist groups over the years and in current times, so I wanted to make a note that I am using it in its purest and most positive way. BLM and Fuck Nazis.

A few weeks ago I went home to Minnesota for my favorite reason, the Minnesota State Fair.

The great Minnesota get together has been a highlight of my summers since I was a little kid and after growing up and moving away I haven’t always had the chance to be around for the 12 days of fun ending on Labor Day. Being at the fair is the shining star at the end of summer. It happens at the beginning of Virgo season, where we can settle and restore after the fiery energy of the hot Leo sun. When I was young it was our one last week of play before it was time to buckle down before school started. The feeling was the same this year, except swap out school with a concert next week and an upcoming plane ticket on a life changing experience.

I don’t get home to MN very often but when I do it’s easy for me to slip back into a comfortable groove. My parents live in the house I grew up in and this trip was extra special because I got to show my girlfriend, Deb, around my hometown. Here’s where I played softball when I was a kid! Here’s a tree I’ve climbed four million times! Here’s where I hit my head and still have a bump! Here’s my sister’s grave! All these things feel so comfortable to me, so safe. And then on top of that to go to the fair! I was in Minnesota heaven.

Then I came back to my New York apartment and my New York life and I felt that wonderful feeling over again. The feeling of ease that you can be yourself through all parts of your day. That’s the feeling of home for me. Die Heimat. It felt like a melting in my chest that immediately reminded me of butter on corn (I was in NY but I was still in fair mode).

And I’m about to go far away! For a long time. Where I can hardly speak and don’t know many people. And that’s scary! When I get afraid the spot in my chest feels caught, like a hook pulling me off a stage.

So I asked myself, how do I bottle up the good feeling? How do I save it for days when I feel scared, or lonesome, or lost, especially as I travel across the Atlantic?

I turned to my Tarot cards and pulled The Hermit, the card for Virgo season. It depicts an old man on a long journey over a mountain guided through the darkness by a star in a cage. His star signifies his own strength, wisdom, and curiosity that lights his path. And something happened that sometimes happens when I pull cards- the answer to my question seemed to spill in my brain. The feeling of coming home is always inside of you. I can always pause, I can always take a breath, and I can always feel that support, that love, that comfort from the inside out. Drenching me like corn in butter.

I also want to say, I understand not everyone has this experience in their home, whether current or past. But I do sincerely hope that you can recognize that feeling of community, safety, and acceptance when it does show up in your life and whether it’s with your family, your friends, or in brief moments of solitude, I hope you cherish it when it arises. I’m sending all of you happiness and patience as we gear up for the last Mercury Retrograde of 2022! Remember to stay nimble, stay open, and laugh at yourself as often as you can.

<3 Reb