3 Toms Walk into a Bar

Today there was a solar eclipse with both the sun and moon in Sagittarius. During this Eclipse season I’ve tried to spend my time reflecting and asking the universe for signs before doing any more manifesting or decision making. 

This fall has been tough on my motivation; I’ve found myself missing music but hardly wanting to practice, listen to anything (especially classical music), or sing any more than necessary. It has been the age-old case of wondering where the joy in my life has gone without doing any of the things that actually bring me joy. So, I decided to ask the universe to bring me musical joy. Perhaps maybe a new role? Maybe reconnecting with a coach? I wanted to stay open to whatever would come up but, as life got busier, I didn’t change any habits, and honestly, I kind of forgot that I asked the universe for something so specific. 

When I was younger my mother made me mixtapes, which turned into burnt CDs, and are now Spotify playlists. Recently she suggested I listen to “Women Sing Waits” and because it’s an all-female cover album and not ole Croakedy-Croak himself I decided to give it a listen. (Just joking dude, you’re awesome. Omg Tom Waits if you’re actually reading this I’m gonna die.)

Now, do you ever get totally enraptured by a song and don’t know why? Like you have to listen to it on repeat over and over again? Ol’ 55 for whatever odd reason had me by the hook. I had heard it as an Eagles song but never knew it was by Tom Waits, so knowing who wrote it completely changed my perspective on the lyrics. It’s a fairly simple song about feeling alive riding in your car down the freeway, coming home from a hookup. 

I listened to the version from the album with Shelby Lynne and Allison Moore about a dozen times. Then the Eagles version. Then the original…then I found a Sara McLaughlin recording of it… and so on down the rabbit hole.

I don’t know what it was that day but for some reason, I really needed to play it.  I texted my friend from High school, Beth, to see if she wanted to play through it with me when I go home to Minnesota in a few weeks. She and I used to jam together all the time back in the day and she still plays guitar in a super cool band. I saw she had written back that she’d learn it just as I was heading in to work to bartend.

About 10 minutes later at the restaurant, two older men came in and when checking their vax cards I noticed both their names were Thomas. So, naturally, I said, “Ha! Two Toms!” And they responded, “Two Toms!” We laughed and off they went to sit at a table. A few minutes later another guy walks in and I checked his card. And HIS name was Thomas too! I said, “Hey Toms! I’ve got another Tom!” To which the two old gents said in unison, “Three Toms!”

I was laughing hysterically at this Aaron Sorkin moment in my life when suddenly, I remembered that the fake name we made up for the “band” that Beth and I had in high school was ‘Searching for Tom’ (lovingly named after a cute guy from the old Quest Club in Minneapolis in 2004). Back then, we were “Searching for Tom” and by George- I’d done it! I had three Toms right in front of me!

I ran to the back and gave Beth a call, to tell her not only did I want to play Ol’ 55 but we should practice up and really spend some time playing together like we used to. Because Tom Waits, The 3 Toms, and The Mystery Man from the Quest all those years ago were being used as tools by the universe to give me a huge signal.

I wanted more musical joy, I asked for more musical joy and I didn’t see that what I really needed was to get together with my friend and carve out time to play together like we did when we were 15.  To sing with the gumption I had back then. It’s as if the universe’s nudge gave me the permission to try something new to get back to my joy. Since that day I have had more motivation to practice not only potential jam songs but also my own arias and some upcoming opera endeavors. And that’s really what makes my heart sing and my blood turn to glitter.

If you ever feel the universe guiding you towards something, asking you to tune in to something that you were keeping in a fuzzy spot, you ought to turn the light on that thing. The universe is capable of creating everything from nothing and yet we, often arrogantly, think we know the best direction we should go in. Sometimes you literally have to say out loud, “You take the reigns on this, and I’m going to accept this help and guidance. Because the best of my abilities has only brought me this far.” To be quite honest, asking for help in this way doesn’t feel like surrendering in the sense I used to think it would. It feels more like finally sitting down in a comfy chair. And who doesn’t love a comfy chair?

<3 Reb

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